TEENAGE TERMINATOR

HIATUS

2009-11-05T22:00:00.000-08:00

OK, SO I'VE BEEN OBVIOUSLY NEGLECTING THIS BLOG SOMEWHAT. BUT I MEAN, HELLO, I HAVE A "LIFE" PEOPLE. I CAN'T JUST KEEP POSTING BULLSHIT FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT, QUIT FILLING UP MY EMAIL WITH YOUR COMPLAINTS. OR WERE THOSE EMAILS JUST SPAM? I DON'T REALLY KNOW SINCE I DON'T ACTUALLY CHECK THAT EMAIL EVER. UM, OH YEAH SO I'M GOING ON HIATUS UNTIL 2010, AND TEENAGE TERMINATOR WILL BE TOTALLY DIFFERENT. LOL TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!!!!!! TTYL XOXO ~

(VIA ASTRALZOOLOGY)

100%

2009-10-12T00:13:00.000-07:00

SO LIKE, I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT IS BEING SAID IN THIS VIDEO, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN IT'S NOT AMAZING, BECAUSE IT IS. I'M FOR SURE.

IS NOTHING SACRED?

2009-10-01T00:27:00.000-07:00

OCTOBER IS HERE. I SO TOTALLY NEED HALLOWEEN LIKE, ASAP.

(VIA STOMACH ACHES)

XOXO

2009-09-17T23:32:00.000-07:00

OK SO MY LIFE LATELY HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT ME OBSESSING OVER GOSSIP GIRL AND MAKING LEIGHTON MEESTER FAN ART. SERIOUSLY, MY DESKTOP IS FILLED WITH VARIOUS PICTURES OF LEIGHTON AND I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT THEM. WHAT HAS MY LIFE BECOME? DOING NOTHING BUT TALKING ABOUT A TV SHOW AND SAVING PICTURES OF CELEBRITIES' DOGS TO MY COMPUTER? WHATEVER, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.

PS. LEIGHTON MEESTER IN KOREAN ELLE LOOKING LIKE A GLAMOR GOTH? FUCK YES. ALSO, WTF IS GOING ON HERE?

POPULAR ON THE INTERNET

2009-09-07T16:52:00.000-07:00

GOD, I'VE BEEN SO BUSY LATELY. ON TOP OF THAT EVERYONE HAS BEEN COMING UP TO ME AND ASKING ABOUT MY NEW TATTOOS AND WHAT UNDERWEAR I'M WEARING. BEING SO POPULAR ON THE INTERNET IS SUCH A DRAG.

OK BUT LIKE, SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THAT LAST GUY WAS SO BEING FRIENDLY, THEY JUST CALL HIM A CREEP BECAUSE HE'S A JANITOR WHO HAS LIKE A TATTOO OR SOMETHING. SARAH ALSO HAS A TATTOO WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? I KNOW WHEN ALL THESE PEOPLE WERE COMING UP TO ME IN PUBLIC ASKING WHEN I WAS GOING TO POST SOMETHING NEW I JUST SAID "SOON OR WHATEVER" AND SIGNED SOME AUTOGRAPHS AND WAS OUTTIE. OK, SO MAYBE THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT HAVE COME UP TO ME WERE HOMELESS PEOPLE ASKING FOR MONEY AND I'M TOTALLY NOT AN INTERNET SENSATION. I CAN STILL DREAM, RIGHT?

I'M NOT A VICTIM

2009-08-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

THE PAST FEW DAYS WHEN I WANT TO COME BLOG ABOUT WHATEVER, ALL I KEEP COMING UP WITH IS THAT ONE EPISODE OF AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL WHEN TYRA JUST LIKE YELLED AT THAT ONE GIRL AND WAS LIKE "WHEN MY MOTHER YELLS AT ME IT MEANS SHE LOVES ME HOW DARE YOU??"

BESIDES THINKING ABOUT THAT, I'VE ALSO BEEN THINKING ABOUT AALIYAH NONSTOP. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I EVEN NEED TO THINK ABOUT? PROBABLY NOT.

RIP SWEET ANGEL.

<3

2009-08-25T00:38:00.000-07:00

DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE?

FREEZE FRAME

2009-08-16T19:28:00.000-07:00

SOME PICTURES OF MY LIFE FROM THE PAST WEEK OR SO OR SOMETHING.

MY MIND IS JUST SO BLANK RIGHT NOW EVERYBODY. I HAVE A SHITLOAD OF VHS TAPES I PURCHASED THURSDAY, SO I MIGHT JUST LIKE, WALLOW ON THE GROUND FOREVER AND WATCH JAWBREAKER AND FREEZE FRAME, THIS MOVIE WITH SHANNEN DOHERTY CIRCA 1989. THEY HAVE FREEZE FRAME ON YOUTUBE IF YOU WANT TO BE LIKE ME AND WATCH IT TOO <3

TOTAL DOWNER

2009-08-12T16:18:00.000-07:00

THESE PICTURES HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST, I'M JUST COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH THEM (VIA LOVE-LESS).

OK, SO IT'S PRETTY MUCH BEEN FOREV SINCE I'VE LAST UPDATED. I THOUGHT ABOUT WRITING ABOUT DEMI LOVATO'S CUTTING PROBLEM LAST WEDNESDAY, BUT I RESISTED FOR SOME REASON. WHATEVER. SO ANYWAY, THIS PAST WEEKEND I EXPERIENCED ONE OF THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENTS OF MY LIFE. I WAS PLANNING ON GOING TO HOUSTON AND WHILE I WAS THERE I WAS HOPING TO ACTUALLY GO TO A 7-ELEVEN AND GET A SLURPEE AND BE HEAVEN FOREVER. OK SO I DID GO TO HOUSTON AND IT WAS PRETTY RAD MOST OF THE TIME, BUT THE FACT THE NEAREST 7-ELEVEN WAS 100 MILES AWAY WAS A MAJOR SHOCK AND A TOTAL DOWNER. LIKE, SERIOUSLY? WTF 7-ELEVEN. THESE THINGS WERE FOUNDED IN DALLAS FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, THERE SHOULD BE ONE EVERYWHERE IN TEXAS. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO DISAPPOINTED WITH A COMPANY IN MY LIFE (ALTHOUGH OAK STILL HASN'T REFUNDED ME FOR THOSE BOOTS I RETURNED, I GUESS I SHOULD E-MAIL THEM ABOUT THAT?). SO BASICALLY I NEED TO LIKE, GO TO DALLAS SOMETIME SOON, I'M SURE THERE ARE 7-ELEVENS ON EVERY CORNER, OR AT LEAST THERE BETTER FUCKING BE. I'LL PROBABLY DIE OTHERWISE.

OBSESSED MUCH?

2009-07-29T21:50:00.000-07:00

WHEN I FIRST STARTED MY TWITTER LIKE, A MONTH OR TWO AGO, I HAD THE INTENTIONS OF STALKING COURTNEY LOVE'S EVERY MOVE ON THERE. WELL, I QUICKLY DISCOVERED THAT YOU CANNOT FIGURE OUT A FUCKING THING SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. PEOPLE THAT HAVE SEEN THIS, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT (FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVEN'T, CHECK IT OUT NOW). TODAY SOMETHING CHANGED THOUGH. I COMPLETELY UNDERSTOOD WHAT SHE'S SAYING. TOTALLY MAJOR DRAMZ FEST GOING ON HERE. SO LIKE, APPARENTLY TAYLOR MOMSEN OR WHATEVER FROM GOSSIP GIRL IS LIKE STEALING COURTNEY'S LOOK AND TRYING TO JUST LIKE, BE HERE. OBSESSED MUCH? I THINK SO. SHE'S VOCALS IN SOME BAND CALLED "THE PRETTY RECKLESS" (AKA "THE PRETTY LAME") AND IT'S WAY OBV THAT THERE ARE SOME DESIRES OF EMULATION HERE. WANNABE, NEVER GONNA BE. OF COURSE, COURTNEY LOVE IS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THIS:

YOOOUUUTUUUBE

2009-07-28T00:40:00.000-07:00

A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO WHILE I WAS ON TUMBLR I RAN INTO YOOOUUUTUUUBE AND WONDERED "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" BEFORE SAYING WHATEVER AND GOING ON WITH MY LIFE. I RAN INTO IT AGAIN TODAY AND FINALLY DISCOVERED IT'S ABSOLUTE MAGIC. SO SERIOUS HERE.

NOW ALL I'VE BEEN DOING IS SITTING AROUND EATING CRACKERS AND PUTTING MY FAVORITE VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE INTO YOOOUUUTUUUBE AND WATCHING THEM FOR A GOOD HOUR, EACH. WHOEVER MADE THIS IS A GENIUS. THANKS FOR HELPING ME WASTE MY LIFE AWAY EVEN MORE, FUCKWAD.

THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS I LOVE THE INTERNET. OH, AND THIS NSFW LINK IS ALSO ANOTHER REASON WHY I LOVE THE INTERNET. I'M GUESSING SINCE AMERICAN APPAREL ISN'T PAYING POOR MELANCHOLY GORDON ENOUGH HE HAS TO TAKE HIS MODELING SERVICES ELSEWHERE. WHAT A MAJOR BITCH.

WE GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING

2009-07-22T00:19:00.000-07:00

RIGHT BARBIE? RIGHT??!!

KEN SOLD SEPARATELY, DUH.

KELLY BUNDY SUMMER YEAR LOOK

2009-07-16T16:31:00.000-07:00

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO MAKE A BLOG POST ABOUT HOW KELLY BUNDY IS MY "SUMMER LOOK" BUT I KEPT PUTTING IT OFF AND PUTTING OFF AND PUTTING IT OFF LIKE I DO WITH PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE. SHOULD I GO INTO THAT? EW NO NEVERMIND. ANYWAY, BACK TO KELLY BUNDY: JUST LOOK AT HER. SHE IS EVERYTHING A GIRL NEEDS TO BE, FROM THE MAJOR CASE OF BLOND AMBITION TO ODDLY DYED SHIRTS THAT SHOW OFF THE BELLY BUTTON. SO LIKE, I'M STARTING THINK NOW I SHOULD PROLONG THE KELLY BUNDY SUMMER LOOK TO A KELLY BUNDY SUMMER YEAR LOOK, BECAUSE SUMMER SHOULD BE FOREVER AND SO SHOULD KELLY BUNDY. AM I MAKING SENSE? WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT, I NEVER MAKE SENSE.

(PICTURES VIA MOONAGE)

MY FUCKING LIFE

2009-07-11T19:28:00.000-07:00

BLAH BLAH BLAH THESE ARE PICTURES FROM MY PHONE THAT WERE TAKEN YESTERDAY.

TODAY IS FREE 7-ELEVEN SLURPEE DAY AND THE NEAREST ONE IS 30 MILES OUTSIDE OF TOWN. STORY OF MY FUCKING LIFE.

PROPHET PROFIT

2009-07-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COURTNEY ♥

I'M TRYING MY BEST NOT TO MAKE ANY REFERENCE TO THAT LINE IN DOLL PARTS RIGHT NOW. OH, WAIT. DAMMIT.

AMEN SISTER

2009-07-06T22:33:00.000-07:00

OK SO LIKE A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO WAS THAT WHOLE "FOURTH OF JULY" THING OR WHATEVER. MY FRIEND HALLIE AND I DECIDED IT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA TO DO SOMETHING LIKE EAT A BUNCH OF REALLY GRODY ALL-AMERICAN FOODS AND THEN HEAD DOWNTOWN FOR FIREWORKS AND SHIT, TO CELEBRATE STUFF OR SOMETHING. WE BASICALLY JUST SAT ON A BLANKET SWEATING FOR AN HOUR WHILE TRYING TO READ COLOR ME BEAUTIFUL AND WATCHING THE TRASHIET PEOPLE PASS US BY. LIKE, EW, I'M SURE. AS HALLIE PUT IT, "I THINK WE WENT DOWN A SOCIAL CLASS JUST SITTING HERE." AMEN SISTER. TOTALLY NOT WORTH THE 2 MINUTES OF FIREWORKS WE WATCHED AND WE WE'RE OUTTIE NOT LONG AFTER, OBVZ.

ALSO, MAJOR BUMMER, WHERE THE HELL IS A 7-ELEVEN IN THIS TOWN?

THE KURT COBAIN STORY

2009-07-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

NORMALLY I'M LIKE "WHATEVER" TOWARDS MOST BIOPICS, BUT THIS HAS TO BE ONE OF THE BEST I'VE EVER SEEN LIKE, EVER.

THIS HAS EVERYTHING A MOVIE NEEDS, AND THEN SOME.

MISSED OPPORTUNITIES

2009-06-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

AT FIRST, I WASN'T EVEN SURE IF I SHOULD BLOG ABOUT HIM, BUT I CAN'T IGNORE IT. SERIOUSLY, I'VE PRETTY MUCH SEEN EVERY PICTURE AND VIDEO / HEARD EVERY SONG BY MICHAEL JACKSON IN THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS, WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO SEARCH FOR ANY OF IT. WELL, OKAY SO I DID A GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH ONCE, WHATEVER. I ALSO WENT TO SEE HOW MUCH THRILLER WAS GOING FOR ON VINYL ON EBAY, SINCE I WAS THINKING EARLIER THIS MONTH HOW I NEEDED THE ALBUM, BUT OF COURSE I NEVER DID A SEARCH. NOW EVERY ASSHOLE IS ON EBAY BIDDING FOR THEM AND I'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO WAIT A LIFETIME BEFORE GETTING MY (CHEAP) HANDS ON IT. IF ONLY I COULD GO BACK IN TIME, I COULD GET IT WAY CHEAPER, PROBABLY.
MISSED OPPORTUNITIES: THE STORY OF MY LIFE. BACK IN MARCH I WENT TO NEW YORK CITY FOR LIKE, A FEW DAYS AND OF COURSE JANE FONDA WAS ON BROADWAY FOR SOME PLAY CALLED 33 VARIATIONS OR SOMETHING (33 VARIATIONS OF WORKOUTS?). DUE TO BEING CHEAP AND A LACK OF TIME, I DID NOT ATTEND THE SHOW. OF COURSE I REGRETTED THAT AFTER I LEFT, AND LATER I WAS INFORMED THAT DOLLY PARTON WENT TO SEE HER SHOW THE DAY AFTER LEFT. FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW.

PS. NOTICE THE AMOUNT OF SEQUINED GARMENTS IN HIS DRESSING ROOM IN THIS PEPSI COMMERCIAL. I'M SO JEALOUS.

I'M IN DIRE NEED OF A SLUSHIE

2009-06-22T19:04:00.000-07:00

OK EVERYBODY I'M SUPER PISSED RIGHT NOW. I WENT TO THE CEFCO NEAR MY HOUSE TO BUY SOME DORITOS AND A SLUSHIE AND TO MY HORROR THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE A SLUSHIE MACHINE AND HALF THE SODAS IN THEIR MACHINE THING WERE OUT. THANKFULLY THEY HAVE THE DORITOS THOUGH, SO MY EVENING PIGGING OUT ON DORITOS AND WATCHING BEVERLY HILLS 90210 ISN'T A COMPLETE BUST. I THINK I MIGHT EAT SOME LEFTOVER BIRTHDAY CAKE FROM LAST WEEKEND, SINCE IT WAS LIKE, MY BITHDAY AND ALL. AFTER ALL THE EATING I DID THIS PAST WEEKEND AND ALL THE EATING I PLAN ON DOING TONIGHT, I MAY HAVE TO GET OUT ELIZABETH TAYLOR'S WEIGHT LOSS BOOK MY BFF GAVE ME:

IS SHE TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING BY GIVING ME A BOOK ON WEIGHT LOSS AND SELF-ESTEEM FOR MY BIRTHDAY? WHATEVER, I HAVE NO TIME TO PURGE RIGHT NOW. I SERIOUSLY NEED A SLUSHIE.

COLOR ME BEAUTIFUL

2009-06-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

YESTERDAY I HIT THE JACK POT BY FINDING COLOR ME BEAUTIFUL, ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS I'VE READ IN MY LIFE. I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS LIKE, A MONTH OR TWO AGO AND I REALLY WANTED TO KNOW WHICH SEASON I FIT INTO (OK, SO I PROBABLY COULD HAVE GOOGLED IT, BUT SCREW THAT). THANKS TO COLOR ME BEAUTIFUL, I WILL NO LONGER MAKE THE MISTAKE OF GOING OUT IN PUBLIC WITH THE WRONG COLOR ROUGE THAT CAN MAKE ME LOOK SUPER DRAB.

NOW THAT I KNOW FOR SURE THAT I'M A SUMMER, I CAN TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND MY TRUE COLOR PALETTE. WHEN YOU SEE ME WALKING DOWN THE STREET, YOU'LL NOTICE COOL, SOFT COLORS WITH BLUE UNDERTONES THAT MAKE ME LOOK RADIANT. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME IN ORANGE, GROSS! THANKS, COLOR ME BEAUTIFUL. ONCE I WAS LOST, BUT NOW THAT I'VE FOUND YOU I FEEL AS IF I HAVE AN IDENTITY OR WHATEVER, A PLACE ON THIS EARTH.

COME ON IN JESUS.

2009-06-13T23:42:00.000-07:00

THIS IS THE KIND OF WOMAN I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW OLD. WELL, IF I GROW OLD. I DON'T REALLY PLAN ON LIVING PAST 40 SO I GUESS IT DOESN'T MATTER. I'M OBSESSED, REGARDLESS.

JAN CROUCH, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, LET'S DO LUNCH SOMETIME. I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS AND I'D REALLY LOVE IT IF YOU WOULD SHARE ALL YOUR BEAUTY TIPS WITH ME.

BEACH GOTH

2009-06-11T22:02:00.000-07:00

OK LIKE THE NEXT TIME I GO TO A BEACH I SO KNOW THE LOOK IM GOING FOR.

THANK YOU GOTHS IN HOT WEATHER FOR BRINGING JOY TO MY LIFE AND THANK YOU MICHELLE FOR INTRODUCING ME TO THIS JOY.

WHITE LIGHT / WHITE HEAT

2009-06-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

ONLY BECAUSE I'M OBSESSED WITH MYSELF:

BLOND HUNKS

2009-06-02T14:09:00.000-07:00

HUNX DEBUTED HIS NEW VIDEO FOR "TEARDROPS ON MY TELEPHONE" FOR HIS SOLO PROJECT, HUNX AND HIS PUNX. OF COURSE, YOU COULD PROBABLY GUESS WHAT I FREAKED OVER IN THE FIRST LIKE, 30 SECONDS OF THE MUSIC VIDEO.

THANKS TO ALL THE HUNKY BLOND GREASERS WHO PLAY LOVE INTERESTS IN MUSIC VIDEOS FOR FOREVER PERPETUATING MY DESIRES TO GO BLOND.

NO TIME TO BLOG

2009-06-01T14:39:00.000-07:00

I'M ABOUT TO GO ON A QUEST TO BUY SEQUINS, HERE ARE PICTURES OF VARIOUS MINERALS FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT:

BRAIN DEAD

2009-05-31T12:58:00.000-07:00

I FEEL SO BRAIN DEAD. SINCE YESTERDAY I'VE HAD THIS WEIRD HEADACHE THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE COTTON CANDY FOR A BRAIN OR SOMETHING. I THINK IT MIGHT HELP IF I ACTUALLY EAT LIKE, REAL FOOD OR WHATEVER. ALL I'VE EATEN TODAY IS A TOOTSIE ROLL POP, WHICH HAS SOME NUTRIENTS, RIGHT? ANYWAY, SO THIS PAST WEEK ALL I'VE BEEN BUYING IS BOOKS AND STUFF SO I CAN FILL UP MY BOOKSHELVES AND MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN SIT ON MY COMPUTER ALL DAY AND EAT CANDY. HERE ARE SOME BOOKS I'VE BOUGHT:

THE LAST BOOK IS "THE LOVE MACHINE." I THOUGHT THE PICTURE OF JACQUELINE SUSANN ON THE BACK COVER WAS WAY BETTER THAN WHATEVER THE HELL WAS ON THE FRONT. NOTICE THE NICE CLOSE-UP AND THE "199" STICKER. ALSO, I NEED A NEW CAMERA.

POST TRAUMATIC STRESS APPAREL

2009-05-29T13:52:00.000-07:00

LAST NIGHT I HAD THIS DREAM WHERE I STEPPED IN GLASS AND MY RIGHT FOOT WAS BLEEDING BLUE BLOOD AND MY LEFT FOOT WAS BLEEDING PURPLE BLOOD BUT BRENDA, BRANDON, AND KELLY DIDN'T CARE BECAUSE DONNA WAS KIDNAPPED SO KELLY STARTED FREAKING THE FUCK OUT AND SCREAMING. LATER, WHEN I WAS AWAKE AND STUFF THINKING ABOUT THIS DREAM, IT REMINDED ME OF THAT ONE EPISODE OF 90210 WHEN BRENDA WAS ALONE AT THE PEACH PIT AND SOME GUY CAME IN WITH A GUN TO ROB THE PLACE AND LATER SHE HAD POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER AND SHE STARTED SCREAMING IN THE MIDDLE OF HER TEST AND RAN OUT OF THE CLASSROOM IN THAT AMAZING JUMPSUIT.

BRENDA MAKES BEING TRAUMATIZED LOOK WAY STYLISH.

BLOND ON BLONDE

2009-05-28T16:57:00.000-07:00

THE PAST MONTH OR WHATEVER ALL I'VE HAD IS TOTAL BLOND AMBITION. SERIOUSLY, EVERYWHERE I LOOK NOW I SEE BLOND AND ALL I DO IS YOUTUBE MADONNAS WORLD TOUR AND LOOK UP THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BLONDE AND BLOND IN THE DICTIONARY. MY FRIEND SAYS ONE IS BRITISH OR SOMETHING. SO LIKE, I'M STILL NOT SURE IF I UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE, BUT IT DOESN'T CHANGE MY BURNING DESIRE AT ALL. IF I GO BLOND DO YOU THINK I'LL BE TREATED DIFFERENTLY? OR WILL I JUST GET LOOKS OF DISGUST BECAUSE IT WON'T FIT MY "LOOK" AND STUFF? WHY AM I PLAGUED WITH SUCH DIFFICULT DECISIONS? UGH JUST KILL ME NOW.

DEBUT

2009-05-26T16:40:00.000-07:00

HI MY NAME IS JOEL AND THIS IS MY BLOG BLAH BLAH BLAH.

THIS BLOG MAY CONTAIN:

SELF ABSORPTION, CAT FIGHTS, MONOTONY, GAG FESTS, FAG FESTS, NOSTALGIA, TEEN ANGST, BABES, BEEFCAKE, DOLLS, DEATH, FOOD, FASHION, BULLSHIT, THE OCCULT, AND WHATEVER ELSE I FEEL LIKE VOMITING ONTO THIS BLOG.

ENJOY♥**~