I'M IN DIRE NEED OF A SLUSHIE

OK EVERYBODY I'M SUPER PISSED RIGHT NOW. I WENT TO THE CEFCO NEAR MY HOUSE TO BUY SOME DORITOS AND A SLUSHIE AND TO MY HORROR THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE A SLUSHIE MACHINE AND HALF THE SODAS IN THEIR MACHINE THING WERE OUT. THANKFULLY THEY HAVE THE DORITOS THOUGH, SO MY EVENING PIGGING OUT ON DORITOS AND WATCHING BEVERLY HILLS 90210 ISN'T A COMPLETE BUST. I THINK I MIGHT EAT SOME LEFTOVER BIRTHDAY CAKE FROM LAST WEEKEND, SINCE IT WAS LIKE, MY BITHDAY AND ALL. AFTER ALL THE EATING I DID THIS PAST WEEKEND AND ALL THE EATING I PLAN ON DOING TONIGHT, I MAY HAVE TO GET OUT ELIZABETH TAYLOR'S WEIGHT LOSS BOOK MY BFF GAVE ME:

IS SHE TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING BY GIVING ME A BOOK ON WEIGHT LOSS AND SELF-ESTEEM FOR MY BIRTHDAY? WHATEVER, I HAVE NO TIME TO PURGE RIGHT NOW. I SERIOUSLY NEED A SLUSHIE.